Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Can you explain the difference between being a conservative Republican and a liberal Democrat? Can you provide some examples of their ideologies?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Do empaths fall easier for abusive people?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Would Donald Trump's reelection make the world more dangerous?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Are you already having anal sex?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What are the most shocking facts about the Bollywood industry?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Is it okay for my husband to help other ladies without telling me?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Can you share any "backstage pass" experiences you have had at concerts?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

How do you feel about Donald Trump signing an executive order that says there are only two genders?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Who's your celebrity crush?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Is the Democrat party connected with organized crime in America?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How is TikTok able to censor porn?

I see through liars

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can count

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can read

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”